Living Abundantly in Vulnerability

All right, so while we're waiting for other people to come back in or come in, all of you should have got one of these post-its. Did anybody not get it? Okay, on that post-it, I want you to write one in one word or one sentence for those of you who need more words, one word or one sentence of something that you are struggling with. Don't write your name, then fold it up, and then you'll give it back to me. Okay? So it can be anything as light as I struggle with cooking, or I struggle with waking up in the morning. Or on the more heavier side of I struggle with depression, I struggle with loneliness.

But keep in mind the title of this lesson to kind of help you figure out what you want to share. Don't put your name on it. I'll give you a couple of minutes. I did. Mrs. Surface just came in. So again, one word or one sentence that, oh, one word or one sentence of something that you are struggling with. One word or one sentence of something you're struggling with. Do you need a pen? Does anyone need a pen? I will run and get one for you. If it's broken, I have an extra. Yes, thank you. Everybody let it be known I did press the record on my phone. Thank you. I appreciate the accountability as well.

When you're done with it, hold it up and then hold it up and I'll come get it. It's okay. It's there. Wow, y'all are faster. I'm not going to lie. Anybody else? You don't need a rush because I don't really need it till the end, really. Oh, yeah. okay all right so let's pray and then we'll start dear Lord thank you so much for this time thank you for the lunch that we were able to have and thank you for the hands that provided it um but Lord I pray that as we come into this session that you would be with us and be present among us and help us to be vulnerable and learn about what it means to be vulnerable in a different way and in two different ways.

But Lord, I pray that you would be with me, calm my nerves and my thoughts. Help me to be a mouthpiece for you and empty me so that I could be filled with your spirit as I share what you would like me to share. And I pray that these ladies in this room would be able to take what you have meant for them. But again, Lord, I pray for your power and your presence among us and that you would just bless this time together. And I pray all these things in Jesus' name. Amen. All right. Ooh, I'm getting cold again. I'm sure I'll warm down later. So I have notes for myself to read it off so that I, in case I get off topic, it helps me.

But we're going to start in, I'm going to read John chapter 10, verse 10, from the theme verse of, or theme of what the conference of, one of the theme verses, but John 10, 10, the Bible says, the thief cometh not, but for to steal and to kill and to destroy. I am come that they might have life and that they might have it more abundantly. So today I wanted to talk about vulnerability and that's why this session is called Living Abundantly in Vulnerability. The reason why I wanted to talk about this is because our conference theme is centered around the truth that Jesus came so that we might have life and have it more abundantly and at the same time we're reminded that we are the sheep and that he is our shepherd and I think The way that the Lord put on my heart was kind of random, but when I thought of it and how it ties with the theme, it was like, oh Lord, you're so cool.

And as I thought on what that actually means for us, I started thinking about the question of what does it look like to live life abundantly when I'm going through things that I cannot control? I've come to realize that control and vulnerability go hand in hand. When we find ourselves in situations where we don't have control, we tend to feel vulnerable. In fact, the reason why I don't like to feel vulnerable or be vulnerable comes down to the fact that I don't like not being in control. That kind of goes against my personality sometimes. So when we find ourselves in a vulnerable position, we're essentially giving or sometimes being forced to give the reins of control to someone else.

And that's what makes us feel uncomfortable. But what if vulnerability isn't something that we're meant to avoid? So I wanted to talk about vulnerability from two different aspects. But first I wanted to define what I mean by vulnerability in the context of what we're going to talk about today. Vulnerable or the word vulnerable means being easily hurt or harmed physically, mentally, or emotionally. It can also mean being open to attack, harm, or damage. But in the context of what I'm talking about, we're talking about vulnerability with other people. It means allowing ourselves to be open to share our thoughts, emotions, fears, or needs without knowing how someone else or the other person will respond.

Because can we really control people? People are probably one of the most, are probably one of the hardest things to control. In fact, if you have a child or soon to be, you'll learn that you can't control little people or big people. And that comes with the risk, right? So we risk being judged. we risk being rejected and we risk being misunderstood. And recently the Lord's been teaching me and I was convicted by the thought that our choice to be vulnerable or our choice to not be vulnerable can often come down to our desire to be in control. It's so easy to be consumed with trying to control how other people see us.

In fact, that's all what social media shows today. You only see the highlight reels of everybody's life. You only see the perfections that one portion of the house looks like or one part of the bedroom looks like or that one little corner. But It's, that's when we think about how we can, sometimes we think about how we can control a situation so we won't be mis, rejected, misunderstood, or judged. And sometimes we try to control the things or everything so that we can just avoid these situations altogether. But have you ever been in a situation where there was nothing you could do to control how something would turn out?

Or have you ever been in a place where no matter what you did, if you're like me, no matter what you did to try to fix something, because you're a fixer, that there was nothing you could do to make your desired outcome happen? In those situations, that's when we feel vulnerable. That uncomfortable feeling we feel that, that's when we feel vulnerable because we realize we don't have control. Jesus refers to himself as the good shepherd in John chapter 10. And so we, those of us who are in a relationship with him, are considered the sheep. And I don't know if you know sheep, but sheep are one of the most vulnerable animals.

In fact, they're so vulnerable that they can't survive without being with other sheep. And if they're domesticated or being raised, like they have to rely on the shepherd even more. In fact, when shepherds buy sheep, they don't just buy one sheep. They usually buy them in a group of numbers. So the first question is, how vulnerable have you allowed to be with your shepherd? Have you allowed yourself to be with your shepherd? When was the last time you were truly vulnerable to God? When was the last time that you cried out to Him and shared everything that you've been holding on to or pushing down.

Living abundantly in vulnerability is choosing to live life through him to surrender our need to be in control. It means choosing not to fix. It means choosing not to fix everything ourselves. It means admitting our weaknesses or faults to him. It means choosing to remain open to whatever God has for us, even if that means risking rejection, judgment, or misunderstanding from others along the way. When we are vulnerable with God, we learn to rely on him. And as we rely on him, we begin to experience that abundant life. And that's only possible through him. But what does it look like or what does it look like to be or what does it sound like, I guess, or to be vulnerable with God?

It's not just pouring out your heart to him. It's not just telling him, Lord, I'm struggling. Yes, it's all of that. I'm overwhelmed, Lord. Lord, I'm so tired. I'm I want to just give up already. But it's also sharing your doubts of him. Lord, are you really real? Because I don't feel like it. Lord, are you really caring for me? Because it doesn't feel like it. Lord, is there anyone here like me that can lead me to you? Because it really feels like I'm alone or Lord, are you really Are you really my God? Do you really love me? If you look around this room, I don't know if you are like in a like, I don't know if you just started your relationship with Jesus or I don't know if you've been in a relationship with Jesus for 40 or 50 years of your life.

But I want to tell you that it's okay to be vulnerable with the Lord. And that includes sharing your doubts with him. It's okay to question God, but it's not okay to not seek the truth from God either. Like don't stay in the question and make up your own lie or stay in the question and believe other lies. Seek the truth and he will seek, draw near to the Lord and he will draw nigh to you. know, that was for free. That was not part of my thing, but in order to be vulnerable, It does require humility. We cannot be vulnerable without it. And that same humility makes us easier or makes it easier for us to recognize the areas where we are weak so that we can rely on a strength that never runs out.

In 1 Corinthians, Paul talks about his, it says, And he said unto me, my grace is sufficient for thee, for my strength is perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. Paul had a thorn in his flesh that he had no control over, but he allowed himself to be vulnerable with God. and even asked three times for God to take it away sometimes I think we think we have this sometimes maybe you're not like this but sometimes we think we put this we put God in a box and expect him to act a certain way or expect that we have to act a certain way and we think that oh it's not good for us to complain to the Lord and If he's, if we're being real, or if any of you are married or have kids, or have you ever not complained to them before?

I mean, in intimate relationships, in fact, my husband has seen all of my uglies, okay? He's seen all of my junk attitudes, but why? Because I feel safe with him. So I was just saying that to encourage you that it's okay to be real with the Lord and tell him those things. but anyway Paul asked him Paul asked him to take it away three times but God's response wasn't to give Paul control over the situation instead God reminded Paul of the kind of grace he already had access to my grace is sufficient for thee God was essentially reminding Paul you may not have control over this but you have me and his grace is enough And just to add, when Jesus says that I may give life and give life abundantly, Jesus is the life.

But everything that Jesus is, we now have access to that. That He is the enrichment of the life that He gives. That's what makes us, but we just have to draw from it. So as sheep, it's important to be vulnerable with the shepherd. But the other part of this, the second part of this is it's also to remember that it's okay to be vulnerable with the other sheep too. I think that's the part we kind of forget about or try to ignore. Sheep, if you study them, I'm sure she's studied them a lot like she said, but sheep know, like it's kind of built in their system, they know that there's safety in numbers, they are safer when they stay together.

And the sheep that wanders alone is far more vulnerable to a predator. And that makes me think of 1 Peter 5:8 where, Be sober, be vigilant, for thy adversary the devil is seeking whom he may devour. So the next question is, when was the last time you were vulnerable with someone else? And for me, this is for free, but for me, because I'm on church staff, Not gonna lie, it's not easy to be vulnerable with someone else. But that's just me and I'm no different from you. So I know that it's hard for us as women to be vulnerable with other people. In fact, as women, if you took any kind of marriage class or anything, I'm sure that you know this or have heard this, security is one of the most important things we need.

In fact, that's like the Lord put that in our nature to have some type of security. or we need security, whereas men need respect. So to protect that sense of security, we often choose to stay within our own safe circle, the one that we can control, instead of taking the risk of stepping into someone else's circle or allowing someone else to step into ours. We fear giving someone else the freedom to react in a way that we cannot control. especially when we're already anticipating or projecting what their response might be. Yet Jesus gives us the best example of what it looks like to choose vulnerability.

He made himself completely vulnerable. God came down in the flesh as a baby. He lived among us as a perfect man. He died for our sins. and resurrected from the dead to give us the shore of victory. That's the gospel. He stepped out of His circle and stepped into each of ours simultaneously because He can, and He gives us the freedom to choose whether or not to accept what He has done. By giving us that freedom, He risks experiencing our painful rejection while still giving us the opportunity to choose Him. So if God, our maker, the designer of this entire world, the Alpha and Omega, if He could make Himself vulnerable for us, Who are we to say that we cannot do the same?

If we are called to live out the gospel, then that includes being willing to live vulnerable, willing to be vulnerable. But let's be real because most of us choose to avoid vulnerability. Most of us who choose to avoid vulnerability do so because we've experienced the rejection. We have experienced judgment or the misunderstanding, and we've been hurt in that way. And yet, so we choose to say, I'm not gonna do that again. I didn't like it. In fact, I hated it. I'm never gonna put myself in that position again. But my encouragement is that Jesus, or sorry, the Bible in Proverbs, it says, The just, what do you guys know?

The just man falleth 7 times and what does he do? He gets back up again. But it doesn't say how he fell. Sometimes we fall on our own because of our own doing. Sometimes we fall because someone else pushes us or trips us. But what do we have to do again? Get back up again. So yes, people can fail us and yes, it's not fun experiencing the negative side of vulnerability But we shouldn't cling to those experiences as an excuse to project the same negative reaction someone else gave us onto everyone else. Just because one person was negative in your moment of vulnerability does not mean the next person will treat you the same.

Living abundantly means that because he gave us life, we now have access to the mercy he gives in abundance And we can extend that mercy to the person who reacted negatively toward us. And we now have access to the grace that he gives in abundance. And we can extend that grace to someone else by giving them the opportunity to become the safe person in our lives. Who are we to withhold grace from another when we who are unworthy have been given access to give grace or have been given access to grace and abundance. And so in the moments when we feel like our grace has run out like, no, I cannot do it again.

Those are the moments when Christ will show up. Those are the moments where Christ will remind us that his grace will never run out. He helps us to get back up again. He helps us try again. And he helps us live and live abundantly by filling up our cup with grace until it overflows. So we cannot truly live life abundantly if we are alone. We were made in the image of God and God is a relational God. From the very beginning, He created us for relationship with Him and one another. So if you've been living in a lie that you can get by on your own, I'll tell you straight, that's a straight up lie from the devil.

He wants to isolate you. He wants to isolate us because there is danger in isolation. And just like she said earlier in the session, social media is projecting that. Like, you don't need anyone. I can do me. I don't need you. I can, you know that you do you. Like, you don't need anyone. You're fine by yourself. That's what he's going to tell you because he wants you alone. He wants to isolate us and Because in isolation, it becomes easier to steal. That's when your joy is easier to steal. It becomes easier to kill. It becomes easier to destroy when we believe that we have to do everything on our own.

I read an article that said vulnerability isn't just revealing everything to everyone. It's about choosing openness with the right people at the right time for the sake of real connection. And I think that it's important to remember being vulnerable doesn't mean that we reveal everything to everyone. There is a way, you need to be careful because sometimes we think being vulnerable means I can air out everybody in my family's dirty laundry or everybody that has hurt me there, I can reveal all of that. No, there is a way to be vulnerable without dishonoring your husband. There is a way to be vulnerable about being a mother without dishonoring your children.

You shouldn't bring down someone else when you're trying to be vulnerable. I just wanted to throw that out there because don't use that as an excuse either. But being vulnerable means that we are willing to open, oh sorry, I read, no yeah. It doesn't mean we reveal everything to everyone. It means that we're willing to open ourselves up to the people God places in our lives with wisdom and discernment, because you don't want to share it with someone who will go and share everything. You have to be wise in who you want to be vulnerable with. But that also goes back and around and says, are you someone that someone would feel comfortable or safe to be vulnerable with?

That was a sign up too. But It means we are willing to open ourselves up to the people God places in our lives with wisdom and discernment for the sake of genuine relationship. So if you're in a season where you're longing for real relationships and you're thinking, Lord, there's no one. I would encourage you to pray. Remember, it goes back to being vulnerable with God first. Pray that he would bring the right people into your life for the season that you're in. Pray for the people who encourage you, challenge you, pray with you and walk alongside with you. And pray for wisdom and discernment to know who to be vulnerable with.

And I would like to add that I sometimes we think the lie or believe the lie that there's no one around us to be vulnerable with. But the Lord has shown me that there were people around me. I just wasn't choosing to do that. And then secondly, I would encourage you to show yourself friendly. You cannot find the right people if you aren't around people. You cannot find the right people if you're not talking to people. You can't know whether someone is the right person to build a relationship with if you never give them the opportunity to know you or give them the opportunity for you to know them.

And if you want to, if you want others to be vulnerable with you, remember that it starts with you. So you have to be willing to be vulnerable with them. And so let's talk about what that means. It's so easy for us to say, Hey, how are you? Good to see you. How are you doing? Oh, I'm okay. Okay. Good okay, bad okay, great okay, what kind okay? You know? I work with teenagers, so I'll throw that out and they're like, What? Makes them think. But be intentional. Be vulnerable. Hey, it's been a long week. I can't... And then if someone says that, then why? Why was it a long week? Stop. Be intentional.

I would sometimes also throw out, Hey, how are you? physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. And that will also throw them off. And then they'll have to think, Okay, and you better wait and wait for the answer. And if you really don't have time for that, then schedule it. I know it's so hard for adults, but what gets scheduled gets done, I'm not gonna lie. Schedule that coffee date, schedule the date to let the kids go crazy or something, I don't know. So be intentional about being vulnerable with your shepherd because it's one thing for us to know in our mind, because we have that head knowledge, right?

Especially if you grew up in church. It's one thing to know in your mind that God knows all things. And it's one thing to know that He knows everything you feel. He knows everything you're going through. But it's another thing to put that knowledge into action by actually telling Him with your own mouth what you're feeling and what you're going through. And then be vulnerable with people. Be vulnerable with the people that God places in your life to be vulnerable with. Don't allow fear to trap you in the lie that you have to remain alone. And it's going to feel kind of uncomfortable at first, but the reward is worth it.

And I want to challenge you to be vulnerable with your shepherd and be vulnerable to your safe flock. And a side note that I didn't get to mention in the other one, it's okay to be vulnerable to your children too, if you have kids. And again, there are ways to be vulnerable to people without being in a negative way. Sometimes your kids need to see your weakness so that they can see God's strength in your life. But that's basically all I had to say. But the reason why, you guys are lucky. Oh, I forgot to do this. Well, anyway, the reason why I took this, my original plan was to actually make us go and speak it, but I won't do that to you.

I'm nice. I made you write it and I will read it for you. But I kind of wanted to to read these things that we are struggling with because we need vulnerability in our church. We need vulnerability in the body of Christ. So I'm gonna start reading these. And if it's super light and air like light, great. If it's a little bit heavier, great. But I want you to pay attention to what people wrote because in our session before this, There was a common factor that more, a lot of women were struggling with, but we'll start with what we have here. I struggle with enforcing boundaries. I struggle with people who are stressful.

I, sorry. I struggle with doubtful thoughts. I struggle staying strong when I have a sick family member. I'm struggling of having more time to sleep. I'm struggling with anxiety, also adult children. I'm struggling with the overwhelm, I'm overwhelmed by the busyness of life. Sorry, this one's pretty stuck. This one has two. Oh, I'm struggling with sleeping. I'm struggling with my adult son, three kids, gentle parenting, conflict and disagreement. This one's blank. I struggle with family time. I struggle with worry. I struggle with being overwhelmed when my child needs correction. I am struggling with anxiety.

I struggle with forgiveness. I struggle with consistency in Bible study. I struggle with my two teenagers being disobedient. I struggle with worry. I struggled with being patient. I struggle with sleeping at night. Oh, with sleepless nights. I struggle with parenting, time, and work. I struggle with self-sufficiency. I struggle with time management. I struggle with living alone. I'm struggling with finances. I'm struggling with eating and I struggle with cooking. You see, if you look around this room, there's ladies of all different ages and all different backgrounds. But we're always struggling with something.

I mean, it's kind of the consequence of sin. But Jesus, as our shepherd, when we are vulnerable with Him, He gives us the abundance resources to be able to get through. And He is the hope to be able to get through all of these things we're struggling with. But sometimes we need help. Sometimes we need accountability, like the 10 people that told me to remember to press, So be vulnerable with each other. If someone asks you, how are you doing? And it really has been a struggle, then tell them. Just say, okay, Lord, the first person who asked me, how am I doing? I'm going to be real with them. It takes humility.

Don't let your pride get in the way. And don't let your pride get in the way of finding that safe community that you need of being in that safe flock so that you guys can follow the shepherd together. You're not following him by yourself. But I hope that was a blessing to you. Some of these were repetitive. So you might find that when you're vulnerable with someone else, you guys are struggling with the same thing or you might be able to help someone else that's struggling with something that you already went through so you cannot be yeah just be vulnerable to God your shepherd and to the other sheep in your flock um but I hope that was a blessing and let's pray and then we'll be done dear Lord thank you so much for this time I do pray that you'd help us to have the wisdom and discernment of who to be vulnerable with.

But I pray that you would give us the courage to take the risk. The courage to be vulnerable, even when it's hard. The courage to be vulnerable even when it's uncomfortable and we don't want to do it. But just like how we've been hearing a lot of some feelings follow obedience and if you're calling us to be vulnerable, even when we don't feel like it, I pray that you'd help us to do it anyway. And then we'll feel better after, hopefully. But Lord, help us to also treat others how we would want to be treated. And so if we want vulnerability from someone else, if we want someone to be vulnerable with, help us to be that person that someone else would feel safe to be vulnerable with.

But I pray that you would be glorified in our lives as we choose to find ways to be vulnerable with you and with others. And I pray for each and every one of these ladies of the things that they are struggling with. Lord, you know their situations. You know if they came to church with a heavy heart or if they came to church ready and excited to hear your word or if they came to church not even wanting to be here. But I pray that you would just make yourself known to them as their gentle shepherd and help them to first choose to be vulnerable with you and then also challenge them to be, find someone to be vulnerable with as well.

But thank you Lord for being the best example of being vulnerable. Thank you Lord for the gospel and that we have the choice to choose you. And I thank you so much that you gave us the opportunity to have a relationship with you. So I pray that if anyone here doesn't even have a relationship with you, I pray that they would start one so that they can live abundantly in vulnerability too. I pray all these things in Jesus name. Amen.