Forgiven to Forgive

opportunity to share with you guys. And I just want to thank Pastor Wayne for giving me the opportunity to I appreciate the graciousness on that. There is, as he mentioned, something that's been on my heart. Um, one of the things that uh has happened is I've been asked to take on the role of uh pastor here at the church as well. uh I've gotten to see more of some of the inner workings of the church and some uh other ideas that float around the church. And there was one that kind of concerned me and I wanted to speak on that. And so that's my goal today or this evening. So um we'll get to Philippians.

Uh apologize for the delay, but hopefully this is um this is uh beneficial for all of us. But um since this is something on my heart, let's um just open in prayer one more time here. Father Lord, thank you for your goodness to us. Um, thank you, Father, for what you have given us and the forgiveness that you have given us and the model of that that you have shown for us. Lord, as I have the opportunity to share with my brothers and sisters here, would you um encourage those that in the that maybe are like how I was in the past and not fully grasping the extent of what we've been called to. um and then repent from that if that is the case.

Uh Lord, and regardless, may we be encouraged by knowing what you have done, uh what you have called us to and the power that you have given us to be able to to be able to do that. We pray this in your heavenly name. Amen. This subject brings up a story or a memory to me that I think of because it was so instrumental to me as I kind of moved into being a Christian um as a young adult. But the story actually started when I was a very young boy. Uh my dad's best friend was uh sent to go fight in Vietnam. And uh what happened was his wife Martha uh came to live with us. And I was young. I didn't understand everything that was going on.

And um she started to live with us. And my mom does come from a big family and it's a it's a broken family. And so I just assumed Martha was another one of my mom's sisters. and I thought she was my auntie that had come to stay for a while. And uh Martha reinforced that idea as well. She treated me like her nephew and and and loved me. And to be honest, I didn't realize she wasn't actually a blood relative till I was a teenager. And uh so they were people that we knew and that we were close to. And after a period of time, my dad's friend came home. His name was Lamar. And he came home and him and Martha left and they went to go start their own family.

But they they always remained a family to us. We were always close to them. But then they would move to another state and we would only see them once a year. Typically on Thanksgiving, we would make some time to get out there to see them. And and what developed during that time that we didn't see was that there was marriage problems that would develop between Martha and Lamar. And over time, Martha would fall for a man at work, and she would leave Lamar for this man. When this happened, I was a young adult and actually found it quite shocking. I couldn't believe that she could do that to Lamar and I fully expected Lamar to divorce her.

In fact, I was so confident of that, I thought the next news I heard from them would be that that Lamar had had divorced Martha. But to my surprise, Lamar didn't. He refused to divorce and instead he continued to parent their two children. And and when I heard that and in my unsaved mind at the time, I I was shocked. I thought Lamar was showing weakness here. And I had never thought of Lamar in that manner. Lamar was to me Lamar was that war veteran that uh that restored muscle cars in his free time. He was kind of a man's man and and and what I thought men were supposed to be. And I kind of looked up to him.

And then I see this and I'm like, man, you're letting this you're letting your cheating wife walk all over you. Lamar, you're you're weak. You're not what I what I thought you were. But then things got worse and realize I'm unsaved at this time. Things get worse and and what happens is Martha actually comes back to the Lamar and Lamar takes her back as an unsaved young man. I cannot believe this. Why does Lamar take her back? It's not too long after that that I will come to faith and my understanding starts to change. And I I experience forgiveness like I had never experienced before. And God over time would teach me what forgiveness really is.

And he would teach me that my forgiveness is to be like his. And over time, I would learn what Lamar already knew. And that is that that while godly give forgiveness is unbelievably difficult at times, godly forgiveness is a requirement of God's people. Godly uh forgiveness is a requirement, but but it's something actually that only God's people can accomplish. And it's not something that the world can do. It's a thing of beauty that the world cannot achieve. And it's a thing that the unsaved world looks at and is often confused by, but at the same time is is impressed with. And for those of you that have heard me preach for any length of time, you realize that that I often will go to speaking on forgiveness.

And and I've asked for this time to do this so that I can address what I fear may be an ungodly understanding of forgiveness. It is an understanding of forgiveness to be honest that I actually held for an extended period of time not realizing it was ungodly and shocked, wonderfully shocked to understand actually what it was. And it made an impact on me and it made an impact on the people that I was trying to forgive. And so I want to speak to you about this. And to do this I want to spend a a decent amount of time in Matthew chapter 18. So, if you have your Bibles, turn to Matthew 18, and we're going to start in verse 21.

Matthew 18, verse 21. And there it says, um, uh, Peter came to him and said, Lord, how oftin against me, and I forgive him till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee until seven times, but until 70* 7. Jesus says this to Peter and then continues to on to give him a parable. And he says in verse 23, therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king which would take account of his servants. And when he had begun to reckon one was brought unto him which owed him 10,000 talents. But for as much as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife and his children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.

The servant therefore fell down and worshiped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt. But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellow servants, which owed him a hund p. And he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, "Pay me that thou owest." And his fellow servant fell down at his feet and besought him, saying, "Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all." Verse 30. And he would not, but he went and cast him into prison till he should pay the debt.

And so when his fellow's fellow when his fellow servants saw what was done, they were sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done. Then his lord after that he called him and said unto him, "Oh thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt because thou desireest me. Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellow servant, even as I had pity on thee?" and his lord was was wroth or angry and delivered him to the tormentors till he should pay all that was due him. So likewise shall my heavenly father do also unto you. If from your if ye from your hearts forgive not everyone his brother their trespass.

Jesus has been doing an extended teaching here and he's working up to where we're here in our passage and he's speaking about how believers are to address sin in each other's lives. And that draws out Peter's question in verse 21. How often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? And Jesus responds here and responds with this parable. And this parable of this unforgiving servant and this unforgiving servant in this story is a picture of the kingdom of heaven. It's a picture of a a man coming to salvation and then his actions within the kingdom of heaven. This is a story of a believer and as you know the story starts off with him coming to the king with a debt he can't pay.

In fact, the debt that Jesus describes is actually a massive debt that he cannot pay. The debt that he describes is not the type of debt that a single person can actually develop. It's actually the type of debt that nations develop. This guy has no way in the world of paying this off. And yet this very high number pictures the extent of forgiveness that every believer needs because of the great sins that we have. So great is our Lord's forgiveness in this parable. And this man when he's confronted with his debt, he falls on his knees and he begs for mercy. And he's in this picturing our need for forgiveness of our sins.

And we come to Christ for salvation. And and the king has pity on him and graciously grants forgiveness of all this man's debt. and we get this wonderful picture of a of a man coming into the kingdom of heaven and being forgiven of all that he owes the king and it's it's put away. But Jesus has a point with this parable and so he continues on and he continues on speaking about what the servant does does and he's and he does these sinful actions in the kingdom. There is another man who owes this forgiven man money, a 100 pence, which to be honest is also a large sum of money, but but it's a sum that can be paid back.

It it's going to take some time to pay this back, but it's it's it's payable. It's doable. It can be repaid. Yet, despite the pleas of the man, the the man who had been forgiven refuses to forgive and instead puts him in prison. When others in the kingdom see this, they inform the king and the king hands him over the tormentors for not forgiving as he had been forgiven. Now, some of us get hung up on this idea because we have the word tormentors. Jesus uses the word tormentors and so uh we might jump right away to thinking that this is eternal damnation that he's been cast to hell. But that's not actually the idea.

This is a picture of of life within the kingdom of a believer who is not forgiving as he should. And the tormentors here are not eternal punishment, but they're they're that promised discipline for believers that do not forgive as they should realize that there is a promised discipline for everyone who does not forgive as they should. How should they forgive? Our passage here says that that the the forgiveness is to be a forgiveness from the heart and the discipline to be honest as I look around and I just kind of observe the reality of what takes place with those who have unforgiving hearts or don't forgive as they have been called to.

The guaranteed discipline is often a lack of joy and added stress and added drama to relationships. You see, there is a when there's a lack of forgiveness, it results in a lack of reconciliation between people. And that that lack of restoring back the relationship uh leads to stress and drama and it steals away joy that we can have with the person that we haven't fully forgiven. Sometimes you see this at weddings. It's crazy to see it at weddings. And I and I figured you guys have probably seen this too. You go to a wedding. A wedding is supposed to be a joyful, wonderful, happy occasion. But then you get these family members who are just not forgiving each other and they they just tear everything down.

They bring drama and and discord to the to what should be a wonderful celebration. went to a wedding one time and and they were announcing the the the parents of the bride and the groom and I can't remember if it was the bride or groom's parents but but they they introduced them and I kid you not the the dad was on that side of the room and the mom was on that side of the room physically as far away as they could possibly be. There's an unforgiving nature there that has created this lack of reconciliation that's so bad. We have to put mom on one wall and dad on the other wall. Otherwise, we're going to have drama at our wedding.

And this is what this is what comes. And and the tormentors, they do their job well. They steal the joy and they keep the pressure on uh with drama and stress through the relationships. Realize this is a a issue taking place in the kingdom. This is with issues with other believers. And so, you're in the church with them. and you're still seeing them. There's still those those issues. And so there's that that that that tension and the drama. And that's the tormentors doing their job, keeping things uncomfortable because we have not forgiven as we should. And so the Lord here through this parable gives us two reasons to be a forgiving people.

One of it is because we have been forgiven, but the other is also because if we do not forgive, we will be disciplined. And so we must forgive. But how do we forgive? Forgiveness is to be the heart. Verse 35 says, but but what does exactly that mean? What does Jesus exactly mean by the heart? Well, we can look at the parable and kind of catch a clue. It's to be done in the same manner that the king has forgiven. And the king, we recognizes God. Well, how does God forgive? We get a picture of that in the book of Jeremiah. In Jeremiah 31 31:34 it says this, "And they shall teach no more every man his neighbor and every man his brother, saying, ' Know the Lord, for they shall all know me, from the least of them unto the greatest of them, sayaeth the Lord, for I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more."

This passage in Jeremiah is speaking of the new covenant that we have because of because of the work of Jesus Christ. But but within this new covenant, we get a picture of how God forgives. And he he has two promises here. One that he will forgive, but then the other one that he will remember the sin no more. This is this is amazing. This is wonderful because it's not that God forgets, which is fascinating because forgetting is a passive action and it's easy to do. It's something that we do, but God doesn't do it. He doesn't forget. Instead, what God does is something so much more. He chooses not to remember our sins.

He chooses to not bring back the bring them back to memory. And he gives us some wonderful passages to picture this idea. In Micah 7 starting in verse 18, we get a picture of it. And there he says, "Who is a God un who is a God like unto thee that pardoneth iniquity and passeth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage? He retainth not his anger forever because he delightth in mercy. He will turn again. He will have compassion upon us. He will subdue our iniquities. Thou, Listen to this, thou wilt cast all thy sins into the depths of the sea. Notice here at the end of verse 18 that God delights in mercy.

And one of the things that he delights in his mercy in doing in showing his mercy is to take our sins that we have confessed to him and to cast them into the depth of the sea. Have you ever dropped anything in the sea? I live in uh Koi on the winward side. Um we go out to the It's been a long time since I've gone been out to the sandbar, but we used to go out to the sandbar and and the sandbar is really kind of neat if you've never been there. You get out there, the sand's beautiful. It's shallow. you're far away from the shore. It's kind of kind of a neat experience. But but if you walk right up to the edge of the sandbar, you notice that the sandbar just it just drops really steep and you can't see the bottom and it just goes down and eventually the sand just disappears into the darkness of the depth and it just it just goes.

You don't know where it goes. And the and the thing is if you were to walk up to the edge and you were to to toss something in right there and you could watch it sink for about maybe eight or 10 feet, but then it's just going to start to disappear in the deep and you're not going to see it anymore. It's just going to go away. This is how our sins are dealt with. I was thinking about this because when I was a kid, I was uh I I enjoyed going to the ocean and playing in the water and and um my mom one time she bought me goggles and I was so excited cuz I was a kid and I I wasn't comfortable with my eyes under the water in the ocean and so I hadn't hadn't figured that one out yet.

And and so I I really wanted the goggles and so my mom got me goggles and it was the beginning of the summer and I knew these goggles were going to have to last me all summer long. She's not going to get me anything else. And so I got the goggles and the first time I jump in the ocean, I'm swimming around, a wave hits me and I put my goggles up on my forehead and and the wave hit me and it and it knocked them off and I oh shoots, I lost my goggles. And so I I see them start to start to sink down to the ocean and and so I dive down to the bottom and I I start feeling on the sand trying to find my goggles and I can't find them.

So I come up, I get air, I dive down. I do this several times, diving down to the bottom, feeling along the bottom, looking for the goggles. I never find them. They're gone. And that's the idea with our sins. They're tossed down there. They're gone. You're not going to find them. They're disappeared. God has completely hidden them away. Another beautiful picture in the book of Isaiah. Isaiah speaks of this regarding his sins in Isaiah 38. He says, "For thou hast cast all my sins behind thy back." There's another wonderful picture of God taking sins and putting them behind his back. And we know God doesn't have a physical back, but we get the image he's trying to tell us.

And the and the Hebrew word of back that he's using is the center of the back. So what he's saying is he's he's taking those sins and putting them in that area of our back where we cannot cannot see and we cannot reach and he sticks it back there uh keeping them back there. So no matter which way God turns, he never stumbles across our sins. They stay forever out of his sight. What a precious, unbelievable forgiveness we receive from our Lord. You know, you and I, we remember our confessed sins. We remember the shame that we had on them and and that comes back to us. But God doesn't remember those.

You remember yours. God doesn't remember them. He's promised to put them away. He has promised not to remember them. But get this. He expects you and me to do the exact same thing. He expects you and me when we forgive to also not bring them back to memory, to put them behind the back, to cast them into the depth of the sea, and to let them sink into the depth and leave them down there, and to never bring them back. Now this is a very very very difficult standard. This is a very very very high standard. And I think this is where where forgiveness moves out of the realm of what we do as humans into something that's really unhuman.

How can we forgive to that level? Especially as the Lord continues on describing the standard. But before I address the how we handle that standard and expand out a little bit more on the standard that God has on that, I want to I want to address two um things that I have observed that become um objections to this statement that we are to forgive as God forgives to this level of completely forgiving somebody, not remembering them and being open to for just forgive again without hesitation as we have been forgiven. And there's two things that that that I think lead us to think that we cannot forgive in that manner and then to modify forgiveness.

But the thing that worries me so much and part of the reason why I want to speak tonight is because when we modify forgiveness, we're putting ourselves in that category where we're not forgiving as we've been called to and we've opened ourselves up once again to that discipline of the tormentors. And so we got to forgive how God has forgiven. And so we got to understand how that is. And so the objections that that I've noticed and there's there's two that I've I've observed is and one of them comes from the fact that there's a a failure to understand what true repentance is. There's a failure to understand true repentance.

You know, as as kids sometimes we get we get trained up in a manner of seeking forgiveness where the parents are just trying to smooth things over and it's maybe not the best example for us. You know, parents can have a maybe a son and that son's a little rambunctious and he goes and uh and maybe he hits this sister and the sister she gets upset and she comes to the mom and dad and she she complains, oh, you know, my brother Billy hit me. And so mom and dad, they go to Billy and they say, Billy, did you hit your sister? And he go, yeah. And they say, okay, Billy, go say you're sorry. And so Billy walks over and he goes to his sister and he goes, he goes, "I'm sorry."

And he walks away. And we know Billy's not sorry. We know Billy doesn't regret what he did, but but in that parenting mode, we've kind of set Billy up for failure because we've given him idea of of of of of forgiveness, what forgiveness should be. But but that's not forgiveness because he is not repentant. And one of the things that is connected with repentance that that shows that there is comp that there shows that with the seeking of forgiveness there is also repentance is the fact that we we will confess our sin. In fact, the confession of sin is actually called for in 1 John 1 19. It says this, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

If we confess our sins, realize this that that we have been told by our Lord that confession of sins is necessary when requesting for forgiveness. This idea of just saying sorry isn't enough. really sorry is an emotional response that describes the regret that we have for what we have done. But but confession expresses the guilt. Confession expresses the desire to want to repent. And repent in the Greek really just means to change our mind to to go from thinking well this was okay to do to thinking that was not okay to do. I need to do this instead. A complete turn from it. And the confession is in line with that.

admitting that to the one that we have wronged. And so there needs to be that confession. There needs to be that that clear statement that that I am guilty. I have wronged and this is the wrong that I have done and this is the wrong that I'm repenting of. And when a person is doing that, they're humbling themselves to an extent that we can we can understand that the the desire for forgiveness is real. It's not the little Billy example. And so we need to confess because it's good for us and it's good for the one that we're confessing to. But let me just put a warning on that. Don't let your pride get a hold of that truth.

And and get yourself in a position where you say, "Well, I'm not going to forgive you because you didn't confess." Because once again, we're going to go back to God forgiving us as the standard for how we forgive. And if we've gone to the Lord before without a full confession, which we have not confessed all of our sins, right? And yet we know that we can still be forgiven. If the Lord is going to forgive us for not doing it, we too need to forgive. So don't let pride get in there and make you think that, oh, I'm not going to forgive you because you haven't confessed. No, no. Forgive them if they've come.

But for you and me and understanding what it means to seek forgiveness, you and I need to start confessing our sins to our Lord and to each other when we failed one another. And we need to make that the standard so that it becomes a standard for everybody else to see. So that us as a body of believers can grow in this area. So that we can grow in this area of of being humble with ourselves and being humble with each other and confessing confessing our faults. And the second misunderstanding that I've noticed when it comes to trying to apply God's standard for forgiveness is that there's a failure to address uh reconciliation in a biblical manner.

You see, when we sin, there are often consequences associated with that sin. And those consequences are still there. Even after somebody has repented and some the other person has offered or has forgiven them for their sin, the consequences are still there. For example, if a man should physically abuse his wife and then seek forgiveness, the wife can forgive him, but that physical abuse still has to be addressed. a man, a a husband towards his wife is to protect his wife when he becomes the abuser of his wife. He has really broken his marriage covenant. He has broken his promise to her and he has gone just 180 degrees from what he should be.

And there needs to be uh not only repentance there, but there needs to be a change showing that he is now for his wife and not against his wife. and how that works out. They would have to get with, you know, other, you know, pastors or or deacons or whatever to work that out. But the reality is that that a wife can forgive him, but there still needs to be a working back, not of trust, but a working back of the promise because he's broken his promise and he needs to build that back. And so, there needs to be something of working that back. But at the same time, realize that the wife in this situation also has to humble herself more.

She has to humble herself in and being willing to forgive as she has been forgiven. But realize that when when we are forgiven by the Lord Jesus Christ, he wants to have reconciliation with us as well too. He wants to have a relationship with us and he pursues us. And that is the picture. And so when we've been wronged and then and then and then the person seeks forgiveness and we forgive them, but there's consequences. realize it's also our responsibility to humble ourselves and to pursue them as well as what as they try to uh come back closer to us as well too to to make that reconciliation. And so in the husband wife example here it's incredibly difficult.

But if that husband has truly repented, the wife also needs to be open to letting him build back that connection. And often times in situations like this, this is where we need the help of other pastors and deacons and those that are more mature than us because that's a difficult issue. But but my point being is that there needs to be that reconciliation. [clears throat] Ultimately, we are not to make forgiveness dependent in any way on the restoration of what was damaged. There needs to be restoration. If somebody steals from us and they and they and then seek forgiveness from us for stealing us that we can offer, you know, forgive them for sure and 100% exactly how the Lord has forgiven them, but but they still got to pay things back, right?

And so there's still those other issues that need to work out, those consequences that have to be worked out, but but we work those things out in a biblical manner. We don't we don't tie them to forgiveness and say, "Well, I'm going to forgive you, but I'm going to be a little careful here with you because I can't trust you because you did this." God doesn't treat us that way. God treats us in a different way. He forgives completely, forgets it, and then seeks that rest, that that reconciliation, the building back of the relationship. And so we seek to forgive as we have been forgiven and then we seek to reconcile as he has sought to reconcile with us.

This does not make forgiveness easy though. when you've been hurt severely and that that example of that lady being abused in that kind of situation, that's extremely difficult to to restore that. It doesn't make it easy. And our Lord Jesus knows this. Flip over to Luke chapter 17. Luke chapter 17, starting in verse one. This is a similar passage on on forgiveness. And in Luke 17 uh verse one, it says, "Then he um then said he Christ unto the disciples, it is impossible but that offenses will come. But woe unto him through whom they come." It were better for him that a millstone were hung around his neck and he cast into the sea, then he should offend one of these little ones.

Take heed to yourselves. If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him. And if you repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day, uh, turn again to thee, saying, I repent, thou shalt forgive him. Catch that last statement of Jesus. Verse four. If he trespasses against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day again return to thee, saying, I repent, thou shalt forgive him. Jesus say is saying to give this level of forgiveness that he gives but when he puts it in this sort of format we start to see the difficulty of it to be wrong seven times to have somebody do something that's offensive to us and hurt us and then come and seek forgiveness and we forgive them and then what an hour later they go and they do something else and they come and and they do it again and that goes on again and again and again seven times throughout the day.

Which one of us is going to be able to maintain our composure, right? Which one of us isn't going to actually blow a gasket when they come up like the fourth or fifth time, right? And this is what I love about this passage is that the the apostles, they understand this. The apostles get exactly what Jesus is saying. And look at verse 5, the next verse. And the apostles said unto the Lord, increase our faith. The apostles clearly understood the difficulty of what Jesus is saying. He said there's they recognize that hey we can't Jesus we can't do this we can't forgive like this [clears throat and cough] and so they say increase our faith I love this they realize they can't do it and they come to the one who who they recognize that can give them the power to be able to do this but but notice what Jesus says verse six and the Lord said if you had faith as a grain of mustard seed you might say unto to the sycamore tree.

Be thou plucked up by the root and be thou planted in the sea and it should obey you. Jesus is not concerned about moving trees. What he's doing is he's telling his apostles or I'm sorry, his disciples that the impossible is possible with faith. To forgive as we have been forgiven is accomplished in faith. Earlier I said that this kind of uh um godly forgiveness can only be done by the believers and we catch it here because the only way that disciples are going to be able to do it is through faith. But but Jesus tied it into a very small seed, a mustard seed. Only a small amount of faith he says but it's a full faith.

You know, a tree seed is the smallest unit of a tree. You know, a seed. It doesn't have branches, doesn't have leaves, doesn't have bark, right? But yet, everything that a tree is is within its seed. Christ picks a small seed, but but but it's a seed. It's a it's a single unit, a complete unit of the tree. Jesus is saying the smallest complete unit of faith is all you need. And what is that? Well, Peter, I'm sorry, Paul lists probably the most simple gospel presentation in 1 Corinthians chapter 15 3-4. And he gives us the very basics of this small seed. And it's this, that Christ has died for our sins in accordance with the scriptures, that he was buried, and that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the scriptures.

If you have faith in that that Jesus died for your sins and that he was buried and that he rose again on the third day according to the scriptures, you have saving faith. And that is the extent of faith. That is that complete unit of faith that is necessary to now be able to forgive at this level. And why is that? Because when you have faith like that, you have now received the forgiveness that that man in chapter eight Matthew chapter 18 had received. When you have that basic faith and you recognize that Jesus died for your sins, you have had a nation a nationalsiz debt of sin [snorts] now paid for.

And as bad as somebody can be to you and as hurtful as they can be, the reality is it is nothing compared to what we have been forgiven by. Saving faith is all that we need to be able to forgive in this manner. And it's thinking on the aspects of how much that we have been forgiven that allows us now to forgive others and to go to that depth. To be hurt terribly by somebody is very hard or makes it very hard to forgive. But as believers, we look to how we have been forgiven, which is far greater than what we have been asked to forgive. And we forgive trusting in our Lord Jesus to bring us through the difficulties that come with that.

And then the difficulties of fully restoring the relationships that have fallen apart because of the offense. My uncle Lamar, I told you I thought he was weak when I was when I was an unbeliever. But the reality is is now that I know what godly forgiveness is, I know that he was incredibly strong. He was far stronger than I could have imagined as a young man. He was doing something that I could not do at that time because he had faith. And by the Lord's power, he could accomplish what he could, what what nobody else could really do. And he could he could wait while Martha was living with another man and he could wait and raise the kids and wait for her.

and then when she comes back to forgive her. And I'm sure he had some very long talks with my dad. But I'll tell you this guys, I never heard Lamar ever speak bad about Martha. I never saw him harsh with Martha. He was always loving and gentle and caring for her. And I never saw anything else. [snorts] He has given me one of the, to be honest, one of the greatest examples of forgiveness. Martha and Lamar, they restored their marriage and they would go on to become marriage counselors within their church. And through their counseling and Martha's example of repentance and Lamar's example of forgiveness, marriages at their churches were strengthened.

And they were a great encourage to Pearl and I when we got married over 32 years ago now. I still remember the letter that Martha had given us. I still remember her writing in the letter. It was a letter from somebody that truly was humbled and a letter from somebody that truly understood forgiveness. Great and wonderful is godly forgiveness. May we learn to forgive in that manner. I'm going to close here in a minute with prayer, but I just want to tell you we're not going to have discussion groups afterwards. we're just going to dismiss after I pray. I wanted to do that for a reason. As I mentioned to you when I started, this issue of forgiveness was something that I had to grow in.

It wasn't something that I fully understood. And there was somebody that I did not fully forgive. And when I learned this, it was kind of like the light bulb came on. And I had to get on my knees and I had to confess my sin for the Lord because what I was doing is I had forgiven that person. and they had sought forgiveness. But what I had done is I had not chosen to push it out of my memory. And when that person would do something a little offensive, I would pull that out of my memory bank and I would rework it and I would get all offended again. And I think, well, that's that kind of person. That's what that person is.

And it was me. I was the wicked one. And when I saw that, I had to confess my sin before my Lord. And then when I was able to see that person again, I was able to confess that to that person and ask for forgiveness for not fully loving them as I should and was able to start restoring that relationship. And so I didn't want to do discussion groups because if you have learned from this like I did at that period of time and you recognize that you need to be on your knees before the Lord and that you maybe need to make some phone calls, I wanted to give you the opportunity to do that.